


Christmas Cookies

by orphan_account



Series: A Rosie Universe [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-20
Updated: 2004-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow has built a new life and identity when she runs into Dawn, who reminds her of her past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Cookies

Jewish girl, sitting in a crowded cafe, eyes dazzled by white fairy lights. She pushes red hair from her eyes, reaches down to pick another cookie from the red and green plate, stuffs her mouth. Too sweet, too dry, she's choking, reaching for the mug of black bitter coffee to wash away the pain.

Buzz of Christmas carols assaults her eardrums. Laughter of the strangers who surround her. It's times like these when she misses the magic the most, when the rage builds up and she just wants to lash out at every smiling face. Pink-cheeked dolls wrapped in striped scarves, oblivious.

She looks impatiently at her watch. He's late. Very late. She's angry, and then her stomach falls, she begins to worry. There are horrible things in this world and he doesn't...

"Willow!" Female voice, vaguely familiar, not who she was waiting for at all. And the name, no one calls her that any more. She digs into a cookie with her fingernail, white icing flaking off in a half-moon.

"Willow!" There it is again, exuberant, and she's scanning the faces in the crowd. Tall girl-woman separating from the masses, long chestnut hair swinging in a rope. Cheekbones protruding, more defined, but still, in the eyes, the set of the mouth, is sunshine, California, flames of hell invading arctic New England winter.

"Dawnie?" Willow whispers. Fleck of icing under her nail now, lodging painfully in the raw pink flesh. How many years has it been? Five, six, seven. A lifetime. She rises slowly to her feet, awkwardly skirts by the round table, brushing against puffy coats and rough wool. Her heels click on the hardwood floor and then Dawn is in her arms.  
Wiry muscle, thin body surprisingly strong, breasts pressed flush against her own. Memories now of Tara's softness, Kennedy's angles, but. This is Dawn. And she can feel ribs she's being held so tight. Dawn is saying something, sobbing something, but Willow can't make out the words.

"It's okay," she says, patting the younger woman's back gently. "It's okay."

Dawn pulls away sharply. "No, it's not okay! Where the fuck have you been? How could you do this to us? You just left! You just fucking left!"

Willow can feel the heat rising to her cheeks. Her eyes flash around the room. People are staring. "Sit down, Dawn," she says pleadingly. A raised eyebrow is her only answer, and full lips poised as if ready to scream again. "Please sit down and... I'll try to tell you why I left."

Harsh scrape as Dawn pulls out the chair, sits down. Folds her hands in front of her. "I'm waiting," she says.

Click-clack as Willow shuffles back to her spot, looks down nervously. "Christmas cookie?" She offers weakly. "They're really for..."

"Willow." And there are echoes of long ago, she is seeing herself in the face across from her, she half expects Dawn to tell her, "Resolve face."

Willow's palms are itchy, wet with sweat. She wipes them on her pin-stripe skirt. "I just... I had to..." Looks up, to meet wet fawn eyes. "I couldn't stay. I'm weak, and it was too hard for me, and it hadn't gotten to the point where it wasn't even my life I was living. I didn't know who I was. I needed to be someone else."

"That's a load of psychobabble bullshit if ever I heard one." Dawn sighs. "But in the end it doesn't really matter, I suppose. I'm not forgiving you, mind you, but I don't want to waste this time with you on arguing. Or on hurting."

Willow's swallowing tears. They scrape her throat. "That's very mature of you," she croaks.

Dawn shrugs, smiles. "Hey, I'm a big girl now."

There is an awkward silence.

"So..." Willow finally begins. "What are you doing here? In Boston, I mean?"

"Attending graduate school, actually," Dawn replies. "At Harvard."

"My, little girl, what a big brain you have!" Willow says admiringly. "That's very impressive, Dawn."

"And you?" There's a hard edge to Dawn's voice, despite her words to not talk about the past. "You look very... spiffy."

"Oh." Willow looks down self-consciously at her charcoal suit. "I'm a very important person now, I have to dress nicely. Actually, I'm just a corporate clone. I get to be in charge of stuff and work with computers. I always was good with the computers, it was my major talent besides..." She lets her voice trail off.

"I see. Sounds like fun." Dawn pronounces "fun" as if it were anything but. "And how about... are you and Kennedy still together?"

The thought is so unexpected, so absurd, that Willow snorts involuntarily. "No! Whatever gave you that idea?"

"I don't know. We didn't see her after you left. We all just kind of assumed that you had run off together."

Willow shook her head. "I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her since then, either." Clench of guilt in her gut, pictures of Evil Faith in a murderous rampage. A scorned slayer could be a scary thing. She suppresses it, iron will pushing away the bad thoughts. Over the years she's become adept at this.

"I guess that's all for the best," Dawn says. "She was a bit of a bitch."

Willow smiles tightly, forces the question out of her mouth where it's been waiting timidly. "How's everyone... from home?"

"Buffy's still, you know, slaying. We had our headquarters in Cleveland for a while, but we're actually in Honolulu, now." Dawn grins."Can't say I mind the change of venue. Hawaii's a lot prettier than Ohio, and where hell goes, we follow. Giles is running the new Watcher's council out of there. Spike came back to life, strangely enough, but he's in LA with Angel, fighting evil and whatnot."

"And Xander?" Hurts her tongue to say. I'm not guilty, she tells herself, I did what I had to do.

"He's fine," Dawn says. "As fine as any of us can be. He misses you, though. You should call him."

"I should."

"Xander and Buffy are kind of an item now." Dawn smiles softly as she says it, shaking her head slightly.

"You're kidding. That's unexpected." Willow opens her mouth to say something more, but is cut off by a familiar shriek.

"Mommy!"

Smells Gabe's cologne before she sees him, and then he's there, his nose like ice as he kisses her cheek. "Sorry I'm late, Ro," he says as Molly squirms in his arms. "Traffic was a nightmare. I figured I might as well stop by Cheryl's and pick up the munchkin, save us another trip."

"I was worried," Willow murmurs. "Why didn't you call my cell?"

"I tried but I couldn't get through. No reception. Here, will you take her for a minute, Rosie?" Willow stands and reaches out for Molly. The little girl is round and white as a marshmallow in her heavy coat. "How's my favorite Eskimo?" Willow asks as she unties the heavy strings that hold the hood closed. "Did you have a good day?"

Molly shakes her head, freeing mussed red pigtails. "Me n Dylan made cookies for Rudolph." Green eyes settle on the table. "You have cookies, too! Who's your friend, Mommy?"

"Oh." Willow looks at Dawn, who is sitting silently, rubbing her palm over her denim clad thigh steadily. Gabe has unzipped his coat and is pulling up a chair.

"Dawn, this is my husband, Gabe, and our daughter, Molly," Willow says shakily. "This is Dawn, an old friend of mine from California."

"Wow! All the way from California! That's a long time ago." Gabe smiles and reaches out to shake Dawn's hand. Her fingers are small and slender before he encloses them.

"Yes, a very long time," Dawn echoes. "Nice to meet you."

"Mommy! Cookie!"

Willow sits back down, settling Molly firmly in her lap.

"What do you say, Moll?" Gabe asks.

"Please! Please, Mommy, can I have a cookie?"

"Here. Do you want a Santa Claus or a Christmas tree?" Willow's eyes are fixed on Dawn as she asks the question.

"Santa!" Molly crunches happily on the proffered cookie. There is silence but for the sound of her chewing.

"So, Dawn," Gabe begins, but Dawn is standing up.

"I have to go," she says. "I'm sorry, but I have to meet my girlfriend. It was nice seeing you, Willow."

"Wait!" Willow hands Molly to her husband and stands up. "Let me give you my card. I'd really-- I'd really like to stay in touch this time." She digs in her purse for the stack of business cards.

"Sure," Dawn says, taking one. "That'd be great." Her eyes, though, are shifting away and Willow knows she won't be hearing from her.

"Wait, write your number down on the back of this one," Willow says desperately, picking at another card. "I'll call you."

Reluctantly, Dawn scribbles. Then places it on the table, turns to walk away. "Bye," she says over her shoulder.

"Bye, Dawnie," Willow whispers hoarsely.

Gabe is devouring a cookie, now, too. "These are good," he mumbles, his mouth full. And, "She seemed like a nice girl, Rosie."


End file.
